| ACT 1 Scene 1 THE INSIDE OF A MODEST APARTMENT. (The sound of keys jangling is heard. Offstage, is a woman’s voice.) CAROLE LEE I had a very nice evening. Thank you, Bryan. We’ll see each other again soon. Good night. (CAROLE LEE steps into her apartment. She is wearing a coat and gloves.) What a moron! (She crosses the room to turn on a lamp on the left side of the room, then removes her gloves and coat. She lays them down on the back of the sofa. Raising her hands to her face, she cups her hands together and blows in them. When she lowers her hands, she makes a face. Quickly, she goes offstage to the bathroom. When she comes out, she is carrying a bottle of mouthwash and a cup. She takes them and puts them on the table. She pours the mouthwash into the cup.) I’ll have the onion soup to start, please. Then, I’d like the garlic chicken. And could I have that with extra garlic? (She raises the cup of mouthwash to her mouth.) May I kiss you good night, Carole Lee? No, not on the cheek, on the mouth. I want to make sure you taste my onion and garlic. (Like she is taking a shot, she swigs back the mouthwash. Loudly, she gargles it in her mouth. The phone rings. She goes over to answer it and then realizes she still has the mouthwash in her mouth. Quickly, she goes and spits the mouthwash back into the cup and then answers the phone.) Hello? Oh, hi, Pam. Yes, I’m back from my date. It was...interesting. Details? Well, there really isn’t too much to tell. It’s not worth coming over to hear about. I--Pam? Pam? (Carole Lee hangs up. She picks up her coat and gloves from off the back of the sofa. She hangs them both on the coat rack. There is a knock on the door. She goes to answer it. A moment later, Carole Lee walks back in with PAM behind her.) PAM So, tell me all the details. CAROLE LEE Pam, I told you, there aren’t any details. PAM (sitting on the sofa) Oh, stop being evasive. CAROLE LEE I’m not. PAM Carole Lee, you just went out with Bryan Bentson. He’s one of the most handsome, not to mention wealthy, men at work. Something must have happened on your date with him. (Carole Lee sits on sofa.) CAROLE LEE We went to see a show. PAM What show? CAROLE LEE I don’t know. One with a lot of singing in it. PAM You didn’t like it? CAROLE LEE It was all right. You know I’ve never been that into musicals. PAM Oh, right. Sometimes I forget how culturally challenged you are. CAROLE LEE Pam! PAM Please continue. CAROLE LEE After the show, we went to dinner. Before you ask, the name of it was French, so I don’t know what it was called. PAM All right, so what did you eat? CAROLE LEE Lobster. He ordered it for me. I wish he hadn’t. It was terribly expensive. PAM You didn’t tell him that, did you? CAROLE LEE That the lobster was too expensive? PAM Yes. CAROLE LEE I mentioned it. PAM Carole Lee, don’t you know anything at all about men? Now, you’ve insulted him. CAROLE LEE How? PAM By fussing over the price. Now he thinks that you think he doesn’t have any money. Or worse, now maybe he thinks you’re cheap. (standing) I don’t believe this. I went through all of that trouble to get you set up on this date and you went and blew it. CAROLE LEE (standing) You what? Pam, did you tell Bryan to ask me out? PAM Yes, I did. Now, don’t you go and get all upset with me. I was just trying to help you find someone, since you seem to have so much difficulty finding someone yourself. CAROLE LEE I’m sorry, but I don’t recall asking for your help. And, in the future, if I need some, I certainly won’t be calling you! PAM Listen, Carole Lee, I was just looking out for you. You know what people are saying. CAROLE LEE Do you think I care what the gossips are saying about me around the water cooler? I don’t. My affairs are my affairs and I intend to keep them that way. Besides, I’m not going to be there that much longer anyway. When I leave, they’ll forget about me and start talking about someone else. PAM And just where are you going? You can’t quit your job. You need it to pay for your classes CAROLE LEE I’m working on some stuff. PAM All you do anymore is come back here and hide out in front of that dumb box of yours, typing your little fingers off. (She grabs Carole Lee’s hand and looks at her fingers.) I expected that all you’d have left are little nubs by now. It will be awfully hard to do any kind of surgery without fingers, don’t you think? (Carole Lee snatches her hand back.) Honestly, Carole Lee. When are you going to come to your senses? You can’t keep drifting off to your secret little world where all you do is spend time with those characters you daydream up. You can’t hide from the real world forever. (There is a pause.) CAROLE LEE Good night, Pam. PAM You don’t want to hear this, I know, but it’s the truth. And I wouldn’t truly be a friend if I didn’t tell you this. You’re not going to make a career for yourself writing. It’s just not going to happen. You would have been better off if you had just stuck with what your parents wanted you to do. At least that would have given you a better shot with Marcus. Yes, Carole Lee, I know you like him. What’s not to like? He’s handsome and charming. Every woman on the floor would like to date him, even though he is our boss. He’s very strict when it comes to business and I doubt he would ever think of sidestepping the rules and dating an employee. And if he actually did, it would be with Sara or Joy or me, but not a flake like you. CAROLE LEE Good night, Pam. PAM Good night. (Pam exits. Carole Lee stands there silently for a moment then sighs deeply. A phone rings in the distance. She takes a step towards hers, then stops.) CAROLE LEE That’s the phone across the hall. (Her phone rings.) But that isn’t. (She answers it.) CAROLE LEE Hello? Yes. Yes, it is. No, Gina isn’t here. I’m sure. How do I know? Well, for starters, because it’s still relatively clean here. You would understand if you knew Gina. How can I put this nicely and delicately? For some reason, Gina is under the peculiar impression that all inhabitants of the universe are supposed to live like pigs. Yes, you heard me correctly. I said pigs. It’s true. (The doorbell rings.) I’m sorry. I would love to continue enlightening you, but someone is at my door. Yes, I’ll tell her you called. Good-bye. (She hangs up as the doorbell peals again.) I’m coming! Well, Pam, for being so unpopular, I am sure receiving a lot of attention tonight. (She disappears to answer the door.) Oh! (Her mother, SUSAN, and her sister, KIMBERLY enter. Carole Lee hurriedly follows them into the living room.) Mother, what are you doing here? I mean, what a surprise. I wasn’t expecting you. It’s good to see you. SUSAN For goodness’ sake, girl, stop babbling. CAROLE LEE I’m sorry, Mother. Hello, Kimberly. May I take your coats? (She hurries to help them off with their coats, then hangs them on the coat rack.) This really is a surprise. I had no idea you were coming. SUSAN Why do you keep saying that? Of course you knew we were coming. I wrote you and told you. CAROLE LEE You did? I didn’t get a letter. SUSAN Stupid girl! Of course you did. You just misplaced it. CAROLE LEE I must have. KIMBERLY (lazily going to sit on the sofa) She never was very organized, Mother, you know that. SUSAN Yes. KIMBERLY Although, I should think even she should be able to keep up with a letter from her own mother. CAROLE LEE But I didn’t get a... (sighs in frustration) Is Daddy parking the car? SUSAN He’s in Chicago on business. It’s just the two of us. Why are you all dressed up? Have you been out? CAROLE LEE I had a date. SUSAN Did you? Who did you go out with? CAROLE LEE It’s not important. It didn’t work out. KIMBERLY There’s a surprise. SUSAN Well, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. There will be other men. KIMBERLY I wouldn’t count on it. SUSAN Kimberly, enough. I’m sure this is hard enough on your sister. You don’t have to continue to point out the obvious. Carole Lee, our bags are outside. Go and get them. CAROLE LEE Yes, Mother. SUSAN Where are the bedrooms, dear? CAROLE LEE Right through there, but... (Her voice trails off as she sees Susan has already left.) KIMBERLY So, darling, how’s school? CAROLE LEE School? KIMBERLY Yes, you know. Your medical classes. CAROLE LEE Oh, you know. On second thought, no, you don’t. You didn’t go to medical school like the rest of the family. KIMBERLY (laughing) Of course not. You don’t think I’d spend any extra time going to school if I didn’t have to. I got married instead--to a doctor, which is just as good. It’s too bad you can’t do the same thing. CAROLE LEE But no doctor would ever be interested in me, right, Kimberly? KIMBERLY Now, it’s you who said that, not me. (stands) But, really, all of this is irrelevant, because you enjoy going to school. CAROLE LEE I quit. (She slaps her hand over her mouth, but it’s too late. Kimberly has already latched on.) KIMBERLY Mother! (She turns to the bedrooms.) CAROLE LEE No! (She goes to stop Kimberly, but Susan has already stepped out of the bedroom and there is nothing Carole Lee can do.) KIMBERLY Mother, did you know Carole Lee dropped out of school? CAROLE LEE I didn’t drop out. SUSAN What did you do then? CAROLE LEE I...uh... SUSAN Carole Lee, you better do some very fast explaining. CAROLE LEE I stopped going to medical school. I’m taking writing classes. SUSAN What! KIMBERLY Oh, this is good. (She takes a seat to watch.) SUSAN Are you out of your mind? CAROLE LEE No, Mother. I want to write. I’m good at it. A lot of people think so. SUSAN Oh, bologna! Of course people have said they think you’re good at writing. People will say anything to get your money from you. Everyone in the family’s a doctor. I’m a doctor. Your father’s a doctor. Your brother’s a doctor. Kimberly married a doctor. CAROLE LEE And that’s fine for everyone else, but it’s not for me. SUSAN You don’t know what you want. CAROLE LEE Yes, I do. I know I want to write. (She hurries to the desk and picks up a stack of papers.) Look, this is one of the plays I’ve written. I’ve written several more and I’ve written books, too. SUSAN You must be joking. CAROLE LEE But I’ve had people look at my work. They said I have talent. SUSAN They lied. Foolish girl, you can’t believe everything people tell you. Tomorrow morning, I expect you to go back to the school and get back into your medical classes. Is that understood? CAROLE LEE Yes, ma’am. SUSAN Unbelievable. If your father ever found out about this... (She exits. Kimberly stands and exits through to the bedroom. Carole Lee stands there, looking down at the floor.) LIGHTS FADE |
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